Learn More about Susan

Susan is the kind of woman who enters a room and instantly becomes the main character. With a big butt and an even bigger personality, she doesn’t just make an impression—she leaves a dent in the memory foam of your life.

Learn my nicknames

Learn what I can be when I retire?

Susan’s Signature Sip

Susan doesn’t just enjoy a drink—she elevates it. Whether it’s a crisp glass of white, a bold red, or something bubbly with a pop and a wink, her glass is always half full… and never for long.

“You can never have too much… unless the bottle’s empty.”
“Wine not?” is her battle cry.
“One glass for the nerves, one for the sass, and one for the marking she’s ignoring.”

a man riding a skateboard down the side of a ramp

Susan’s Ever-Growing List of Nickname

SUEANNANNARR – The myth, the syllable tsunami.
BIG SUEYY – Echoes through corridors like a foghorn of fabulousness.
BS – Short, sharp, and never afraid to call it.
BBS – Bigger. Bolder. Susan-er.
and a microphone.

BIG SUSAN – The full-force version. Handle with snacks.
STICKY SUE – Clings to your memory like glitter on a carpet.
SLEDGY SUE – Subtle as a sledgehammer, and twice as effective.
SUSIE – The deceptively sweet version… until she’s got wine

These names weren’t just invented—they were forged in the fires of life, misheard introductions, and moments of pure, unfiltered Susan. Each one tells a tale. Each one leaves a mark. Some leave glitter.

Frequently asked questions

What should I do when I retire ?

Master the art of sitting still without falling asleep or mentally redecorating the living room.
Achieve inner peace—or at least learn to ignore the neighbour’s leaf blower.
Transcend stress by chanting “ommm” until your cat joins in.
Become one with the universe, or at least with your favourite blanket and a cup of tea.
Levitate (emotionally, spiritually, or just by stacking too many cushions or farting).

Will I enjoy retirement ?

At first, retirement feels like sweet freedom—no more kids, no more chaos, just peace and prosecco. But then boredom creeps in like a fart in a quiet room: unexpected, unwelcome, and weirdly powerful.

What will you miss most about work?

Nothing!

What’s your new job title now that you’re retired?

From Head of Ass Distribution to Director of Wine Allocation, Susan has never been shy about assigning herself titles that no one asked for—but everyone respects (or fears).

When the day comes we will appointment you as Chief Adult!

**When I’m retired, do I have to take the dog for a walk…**

Technically yes, you still have to walk the dog. You will no longer have (Emails to-do) you will have to be crafty to develop a new excuse for this now!